Programming, Motherfucker

programming-motherfucker

There is a new movement among programmers called Programming, Motherfucker that rejects all management and states that all problems in software development can be solved through code. This movement rejects XP, Scrum, Kanban, Waterfall, and, as they put it, "anything else getting in the way of...Programming, Motherfucker." I've been preaching for a long time that programmers are grown-up people who should mostly manage themselves, so I couldn't be happier if the "Programming, Motherfucker" movement would succeed. But, I've also been an interface between top management and programmers for quite some time and therefore I can well imagine the following dialogue between me and my CEO if we would implement the "Programming, Motherfucker" approach at any of the many companies I've been working for. CEO: Dušan, when can I expect delivery of feature X. Sales really needs it by tomorrow! Dušan: I cannot tell. CEO (already annoyed a bit): What do you mean by that? Can't you ask your team? Dušan:  Nope, they don't do estimates. They are programming, motherfucker! CEO (completely freaked out): I don't care what they do or not do! I need that feature by tomorrow! Or I don't see the need for you to be around any more. Dušan: gulp!

I guess it's really easy to be a programming motherfucker if you are part of an open source project or if you're working for a software company with shitload of money (e.g. GitHub, Google before the Google+ days, engineering part of Facebook) and with a programmer at the helm of the company. But if any of the two conditions mentioned in the previous statement are not met, I wish you lots of luck in implementing "Programming, Motherfucker" methodology because you'll really need it. And if you succeed at it by any chance, I'd really like to know how you managed to pull it through.