I'm a work-focused person. But I also happen to be a father of two daughters and a partner. Integrating my work ambitions with the needs of my family is a big challenge. I've approached this challenge mostly by excluding from my life almost all non-work and non-family related activities. I work during the day and most of the evenings, while time for family is mostly in the afternoons and over the weekends. Not much time has been left for beer drinking or sporting activities with friends. Most of my friends have families too and is therefore possible to integrate them into the family life through birthday parties or meetings at the playgrounds. But the few friends who don't have children yet have diverged in their lifestyles a lot over the years, and we do not have much in common anymore. I do take serious the advice from Baz Luhrmann to "work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle" with at least few precious friends, but that turns out as a quite hard thing to do. On the one hand you end up very quickly to patronize your single friends, while on the other hand they just cannot show a genuine interest in your work and family, the only two things that you really care about in this stage of your life.
Stop trying to balance the mythical scales so that work and family demands and rewards are exactly even. Instead, take these steps to integrate the two for greater happiness and control. Late one night I pulled out of the parking garage at the small airport near my home.